Spread My Wings

Something really exciting is happening soon! I’m starting at a dance school. It’s a proper school with all the usual classes like math, English, and science, but the part I care most about is the dance. They offer jazz, hip hop, and ballet, and I still can’t quite believe I get to spend part of every day learning and training in something I love this much. I’ve always danced, as my mom used to be a professional dancer. Now I’ll be learning real technique, structure, and how to shape all that raw feeling into something more.

Honestly, I’m nervous. Not just about the dancing, which I know will be intense, but about starting somewhere completely new. I’m hoping I find people there who get it, other girls my age who are just as passionate, and maybe even some friends who like the same music I do. It would be nice to have someone to stretch with, or talk about choreography with after class, or just hang out and share playlists. I know I’m there to grow as a dancer and student, but I’d really love to find a group of people I feel comfortable around too.

I keep thinking about what this is going to feel like once I’m in it, sore muscles, early mornings, maybe even days when I doubt myself, but also the music, the movement, the adrenaline of learning something new. I don’t know exactly who I’ll be a year from now, but I hope it’s someone stronger, more confident, more sure of who she is. And hopefully, not dancing alone anymore.

"All alone she was living in a world without an end or beginning. Baby girl was living life for the feeling, but I don't mind, I don't mind. And all the wrongs she committed, she was numb and she was so co-dependent. She was young and all she had was the city, but I don't mind, I don't mind", The Weeknd sings for me as I dance, "And I know that she's capable of anything, it's riveting. But when you wake up she's always gone, gone, gone...  In the night, she hears him calling. In the night, she's dancing to relieve the pain. She'll never walk away, I don't think you understand."

Well, I might walk away soon. Spread my wings like I will spread my arms on stage. Without a warning.