If I had my way

If I had my way, he would come running back to me on January 7th. The day of his departure for the military. 

If I had my way, which rarely never happens, I would wish my heart can move on. There's no remedy for memory, and I know that better than anyone. Because those I thought I had, has deceived me and my mother. I have nobody, and must to hold my head high, but inside I need him more than I need food. Because I had him. I have him.

When you find true love, it lives on. I need him to come running for me, like I have for him.

I need him to know I feel the same way. How? I'm a teen idle, the one Marina wishes she was. I shall send him a message, as if I don't have anything to lose.

Oh, I know I have things to lose. But what about how I could gain?

If I had my way, he would be my first boyfriend, and my last. He would be my once in a lifetime. Because ten days ago, I was lying next to him in my party dress, out of breath, watching the others dance. As if I wasn't going to say goodbye to him later. Nineteen and fifteen, we're perfect.

Please come back, J.